As bereaved parents, the holidays can be anything but celebratory

It’s the holiday season and we’re supposed to be thankful. Society tells us that we’re supposed to gather together with friends and family and tell each other how thankful we are and, in general, be celebratory. After all, we’ve made it to another holiday season, right? Unfortunately, that’s not the case for all of us. Sure, we’ve made it to another holiday season, but is that worth celebrating? As bereaved parents, the holidays can be anything but celebratory. 

Our family’s version of celebration is how we incorporate our daughter Lucy into the holidays. Lucy’s funeral was the day before Thanksgiving three years ago. That makes the holiday season that much more difficult, and for us, we do what we can to make sure Lucy is part of our holiday traditions. One tradition we have is on the day after Thanksgiving, we pick out a wreath and place it at her grave. We also have a stocking that is hung next to ours. And in the years before she was born, we always said we’d get a real tree when we have kids. So, every year, even that first year, we’ve picked out a tree and decorated it. Because our version of celebrating involves her. 

To us, it’s important to celebrate and incorporate Lucy into our lives, not just during the holidays, but always. Creating new traditions is important. For me, it helps me reconnect with her in my own ways. And when others ask what we did over the holiday, I tell them with pride just as they would talk about their kids. She wasn’t just part of our lives; she IS part of our lives. Forever. 

Your children are part of your lives as well, and I hope you’re able to find traditions that celebrate them, not just during the holidays, but every day.

Geoff S.
Lucy’s Dad