Bereaved Parents of Madison Inc
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Member Stories

From the depths of sorrow, to finding peace and hope, our members have so much they want to share about this unexpected journey we are on...

A Letter to Loss Mamas

4/28/2021

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Dear Mama,

There will never be the right words to convey the depth of my sorrow for the loss of your sweet baby. No one should have to experience the loss of a child, regardless of age or gestation. Please know that while you may feel alone, you are not. You may not know it, but there is a supportive community of other mothers of loss who will be there to guide you. They will reassure you of two things: it’s not your fault and some day you will be able to carry this loss more easily.

It's not your fault. There is still so much we do not know about the human body, which is maddening. Please know that you did everything right with the information you had available at the time. You were a fighter and if your love and strength were the sole factors in a different outcome, then it would have happened. Your sweet baby knows how much you love them and wanted them. You did everything you could, even if it may have meant putting yourself at risk. Please find peace in the time you carried your sweet baby and the way you got to say good-bye. Embrace the memories of the first ultrasound and the first kicks. Know that they felt your love when you’d talk, or sing, or read to them. 

Take heart and be strong. I know how easy it is to fall into darkness and despair, but it’s important to look towards the light, even when it feels like you’re drowning. Reach out to your family and friends. Understand that they may not know the right thing to say or do. Forgive them for this. Tell them what you need. Let them comfort you. You deserve their comfort. Please don’t punish yourself for this. Your child would not want you to live your life in despair.  

Your child matters and will always matter. Say their name. Look at their picture. Hold their blanket and think of them. Keep their memory alive however you feel necessary: plant a garden, make donations in their name, give them a stocking at Christmas, or include them in your family however feels right to you. 

This will always hurt, and you’ll always miss them and wonder “what if?” but please don’t let this define you. You are more than the sum of your losses and struggles in life. Honor your child by living how you think they would want you to live. Care for yourself as you would want to care for them. ​

With love,
Danielle
Luciano’s Mom

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    Each of these stories was featured in an e-newsletter and distributed to parents and professionals in our community. We hope that parents reading these stories will feel less alone and that the caregivers and professionals that we trust can learn from our experiences. 

    ​Authors of each article are listed below with a link to the e-newsletter they were featured in.

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In person support suspended March 14, 2020. Zoom Support Group
3rd Thursday of every month, 7:30pm
SSM Health St Mary's Hospital
Cafeteria Dining Room A/B
700 South Park Street
Madison, WI 53715

To Donate:

Bereaved Parents of Madison, Inc
PO BOX 46511
Madison, WI 53744

If you are making a donation in memory of someone special, please let us know!


Bereaved Parents of Madison Inc is a 501(c)(3)

Updated
2021-2-28
  • Home
  • Grief Support
    • Monthly Support Group
    • Zoom Support Group
    • Early Loss/Miscarriage Support
    • TFMR
    • Crisis Support
    • Mental Health Professionals
    • Reading List
    • Resources
  • HUGS Peer Support
    • Our Program
    • Community Volunteers
    • Sauk Prairie Healthcare
    • SSM Health Monroe Clinic
    • SSM Health St Mary's Madison
    • Unity Point Health Meriter Madison
    • Former Volunteers
  • Pregnancy After Loss
  • Education & Outreach
    • Committee
    • E-Newsletter
    • Member Stories
    • Community Collaboration
    • Brochures
    • Bereaved Parent Advocacy
    • Legislation
    • PAIL Film & Panel Discussion
    • Professional Training
    • Newsletter
  • Giving Back
    • Supporters
    • How to help!
  • Board of Directors